B’Jesus Part#2

B’Jesus Part#2

B’Jesus Part#2 1800 802 DeadHappy

Praise be.

So far, JC has ticked all the right boxes. We’re pretty confident that, despite all of his unique circumstances, the vast majority of modern insurers would be willing to cover Jesus with a life insurance policy.

Even the fact that Jesus was executed wouldn’t nullify his policy. Most life insurance policies don’t include exclusions for capital punishment and would, therefore, payout to JC’s beneficiaries.

We do wonder what deathwish JC would make. We don’t think he had a mortgage to pay off but maybe he could treat Mary to that trip to Mesopotamia she was always talking about. Or maybe kit the disciples out with some box-fresh Jesus Creepers so they’ll all be looking dapper.

Whatever he wanted to happen after he died, DeadHappy would’ve been more than pleased to have tried to help him out.

Now we all know the story doesn’t end there, and there’s still one key question we need to answer…

Would Jesus be able to keep his payout?

Now, this is where it gets a little trickier…

The resurrection

Technically, once you’re dead and your insurance company has seen your death certificate, they have to honour your policy and cough up the cash. However, this verification process isn’t immediate, with many insurers taking up to 30 days to review a claim.

JC wasn’t dead long, only logging off for roughly 48 hours, which, by modern standards, is a pretty long time to be away from Instagram.

It’s very likely that any insurer would withhold any payouts until they got a legal footing on the situation. We reckon a legal battle would ensue, the insurer would be compelled to honour JC’s policy and all life insurances would include a resurrection clause forever more.

As history has taught us time and time again, there’s nothing worse than a litigious zombie.


Updates & Legal gumph
Current Version 2.1
  • Added
  • Hey Bowlhead video
  • Updated
  • Lifeline guarantee extended to 10 years.
  • Plan RulesView Rules
  • Improved
  • Life insurance acceptance for mental health issues
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