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How do I buy life insurance? Easy or Hard – your choice.

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Dominic Collard

November 26, 2020

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How can I buy life insurance easily? There are loads of different life insurance providers. But basically just two ways to buy a policy. One process is easy. The other is as enjoyable as doing a thousand piece jigsaw blindfolded while a dog licks your face. Let’s start there. Traditional life insurance Life insurance, like […]

How can I buy life insurance easily?

There are loads of different life insurance providers. But basically just two ways to buy a policy. One process is easy. The other is as enjoyable as doing a thousand piece jigsaw blindfolded while a dog licks your face. Let’s start there.

Traditional life insurance

Life insurance, like any other sort of insurance, is about calculating risk. The more chance you’ll drop dead, the less chance you’ll be able to buy life insurance — or the more expensive it’ll be. To calculate the risk of your premature death, life insurance companies ask you questions. Lots and lots of them. Let’s take this little exercise from Aviva, the UK’s largest life insurance provider. At a stonking 49 pages of form-filling, it’s enough to put you in an early grave. Or you can save yourself a few days and plump for Legal & General’s 37 page magnum opus.

It’s not just time you’ll need for these application forms. Expect to have an encyclopedic memory of your full medical history up your sleeve. Actually, best begin with brushing up on clinical vocabulary, as you’ll need to know if you’ve ever had “Peripheral Vascular Disease” “Ulcerative Colitis” or “Optic Neuritis.” They sound big and scary, so you could safely assume you’d remember if you had them. But what about other people in your extended family? Auntie Violet looked pretty dodgy most days — might I have inherited her bad genes? The process will want to know.

Then we get into more ambiguous territory. “Have you ever suffered from blurred vision, loss of muscle power or balance problems?” Yes, most Saturday nights. Does that count? If you’re applying for a spot at your local yoga class, you wouldn’t worry about the accuracy of your answers. But with most life insurance applications coming with the friendly warning that “…failure to provide correct information may result in your policy being void…”, certainty is a tad more important. So off you pop to ask someone in customer support what the question means. Get ready to spend time listening to pan pipe holding music.

Full medical history documented, it’s on to lifestyle questions. All sorts of intrusiveness here. Drinking, drugs, sexual partners, dangerous sports, addiction to daytime TV quiz shows (maybe) … spill the beans. It’s like being subjected to a Catholic confessional, without the promise of everlasting life.

Next, be sure you know exactly what type of life insurance you want. Because life insurers like to make it as complicated as possible by chucking together a variety of insurance products in the same application process. So expect to see family protection, with mortgage protection, and maybe some income protection, and how about a side of critical illness cover … all on the same application form. Then strap yourself in for the ride down the rabbit hole of options: premium waivers, deferred periods, increasing cover. “I JUST WANT SOME LIFE INSURANCE!!!”

A Masters degree in insurance etymology later, and you’re all done. Or not. If the insurance company spots something in your application it doesn’t like the look of, await a mini interrogation about it. If you’re someone who keeps a record of every doctor’s appointment and files away every prescription you’ve ever had, you have nothing to worry about. You don’t? Yikes…


DeadHappy life insurance

And now for the easy process. You’ll need approximately 5 minutes, or even less if you’re an especially quick typist. Ready?

Step 1: Grab your laptop
Step 2: Go to deadhappydev.wpengine.com
Step 3: Answer 4 quick questions

There’s no rainforest of paper to print out; and unlike other online insurance providers, it’s not an excuse to get your email so we can send you ‘the proper application.’ You’ll get an answer from us straight away, saving yourself bags of time to put towards actually living. Because what’s the point in taking out a life insurance policy, if it takes a lifetime to buy it.


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