Lucky 13, the weirdest and most wonderful deathwishes ever created.

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DEATHWISH #1

Ex-Directory

Luis Carlos de Noronha Cabral da Camara, as well as having a ridiculously long, almost fictitious name was a minted Portuguese aristocrat. Unfortunately for him, his wealth didn’t manage to buy him many friends and he didn’t have any family of note. So in an unorthodox move, when writing his will, he randomly chose 70 names from a Lisbon phone book. Those lucky buggers received equal chunks of his fortune, estimated to be a good few thousand Euros each.

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DEATHWISH #2

Sandra’s Wheels

Beverly Hills socialite and heiress to her dead husband’s oil fortune, Sandra West, died suddenly at the age of 37 from an overdose of prescription drugs. She asked to be buried in a white nightgown in the front seat of her 1964 powder blue Ferrari 250GT ‘with the seat slanted comfortably.’
Seems perfectly reasonable to me. Why would you want your corpse to spend eternity in an awkward, upright position?

Her body and beloved sports car were transported back to San Antonio, Texas where the site still attracts tourists to this day. But to discourage looters, it was placed in a huge crate, lowered into the ground and covered by concrete.

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DEATHWISH #3

A hatful or a skinful?

Boston hatmaker Solomon Sanborn left his body to science in 1871.
Nothing odd about that you’re probably thinking. A lot of people request the same.

He didn’t leave it there though, he insisted that his skin should be used to make two drums, which his friend would beat to the tune of Yankee Doodle on Bunker Hill each year on June 17th. Gruesome.

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DEATHWISH #4

Futurama

Jeremy Bentham, an English philosopher died a long while ago, in 1832 in fact. His Will gave instructions for his friend, (who was a doctor btw) to preserve his head and skeleton, dress his remains in a suit, seat him in a chair with his cane and display him in a cabinet on the University College of London campus, with a plaque reading ‘Auto-Icon.’

He instructed the rest of his body to be dissected and used to benefit medical science and this was done during a public lecture. Unfortunately for Jeremy, the mummification of his head didn’t go according to plan, so was replaced with a wax one.

The University acquired old boney Jeremy in 1850 until recent years when student pranks became a regular issue, so he was popped in a lovely vault in the Institute of Archaeology and then going against his deathwish, his body was moved away from public view in 2020. His wax head stayed however in a snazzy glass cabinet.

For those who love a prank and what to know more, here we go;
In 1975, students stole Jeremy’s head, demanding a ransom of £100, which they wanted the charity Shelter to receive. UCL finally paid a reduced amount of £10 and the head was returned.
According to myths, this wasn’t the last time that the head was stolen. There’s a rumour that it was once found hidden in a locker, at a Scottish train station and there’s a more far-fetched myth that his head was involved in a football training session.

Anyone else having visions of his head being kicked all over the pitch? No? Just me then.

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DEATHWISH #5

Original Prankster

Talking about pranks, Canadian millionaire Charles Millar was known as a bit of a prankster. His unusual last will and testament had a few hilariously awkward instructions;
Firstly, three men he knew, fellow lawyers and who were known to absolutely hate each other were given a lifetime joint tenancy of Charles’ holiday home in Jamaica.

Secondly, he instructed shares in the catholic owned O’Keefe Brewery to go to a number of teetotal protestant ministers, so long as they took part in the management of the place.
Thirdly, he left shares of Kenilworth Jockey Club to three men who were actively against horse racing on the rule that they all had to become members of the club.

There were some less humorous clauses to his will but the final one is a cracker…

The final clause of his will promised his entire fortune to whichever woman gave birth to the most babies, in the 10 years following his death. The money was eventually split between four women, who had each given birth to nine children. They each pocketed $125,000, which would be worth over $2m today! Crikey!

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DEATHWISH #6

I don’t zink he liked ze ladies!

When T.M. Zink, a lawyer from Iowa died in 1930, only leaving $5 to his daughter and absolutely nothing to his wife, it would be natural to assume that there could’ve been marital issues. The following would suggest that Zink had a much broader and much deeper hang up.
He instructed that the rest of his wealth would be set aside for a ‘womanless’ library. Within this ‘library’ would exclusively be books written by men

Because obviously women cannot write good books (disclaimer: sarcasm).
The second most important rule, you guessed it; No women to be allowed into the library.

It probably should be celebrated that his family successfully challenged the will in court and the sexist idea was nipped in the bud.

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DEATHWISH #7

Not by the glare of my chinny chin chin!

If Londoner Henry Budd had been around these days, he would definitely have hated hipsters and in particular their trend of facial hair. His Will, in no uncertain terms stated specifically, that his two sons were NOT allowed to grow a moustache. Meaning if either William or Edward sprouted a handlebar, their inheritance would be cancelled and the whole amount would go solely to the one who remained clean shaven. Wonder if they just spent the rest of their years reminding each other to shave?

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DEATHWISH #8

Hair today, gone tomorrow…

We’ve all probably heard of Napoleon Bonaparte, if not do a Google.
Napoleon died in 1821 and the ruler requested that, upon his death, his head was to be shaved and that his hair was to be divided between his friends.

The reason for this strange request was never really understood.
But as per his wishes, they did keep his hair and later some tests were performed on the samples which revealed very high traces of arsenic.
Which added to the theory that Napoleon was killed by arsenic poisoning.
Maybe he knew something that everyone else didn’t?

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DEATHWISH #9

Upstanding citizen

You’ve likely never heard of this dude, but his deathwish was pretty unique. Angel Pantoja, a Puerto Rican man’s last wish was that he be standing at his own funeral, which was granted.

A funeral home used a special embalming treatment to keep the corpse standing upright for his three day wake. Dressed in a New York Yankees baseball cap and sunglasses, Angel was mourned by relatives and friends while propped upright in his mother’s living room.

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DEATHWISH #10

What a Bratt!

We’ve seen a few deathwishes with strict rules before the heir or heiress can get their stake of the deceased’s estate, but Samuel Bratt took it to another level. Revenge from beyond the grave possibly? Whilst he was alive his wife never allowed him to smoke his favourite cigars, he clearly didn’t like being told what to do. When he died in 1960, Samuel left her £330,000, but to get it, she had to smoke 5 cigars a day! Eek!

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DEATHWISH #11

Catch and Throw

Ed Headrick, inventor of the Frisbee, was so proud of his invention (and so he should be), that he wanted to be buried in one. You’re probably thinking, how the hell is that possible?
Not exactly the ideal container for keeping ashes in is it?!

Luckily his heirs had the brainwave of pressing the ashes into the plastic and made a limited number of frisbees which were given to some friends and family and the rest sold with all proceeds going to charity.

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DEATHWISH #12

Warning: Explicit deathwish content…

When Milena Marinkovic died, she left a very personal request for her husband Milan to fulfill: She wished for a stonemason to engrave a replica of her *cough* vagina on the tombstone. Why?
Milena stated her intention for the public display of her privates was simple. She wanted to make sure that her husband never looked at another woman. In a letter she said, “I don’t want you chasing other women. This way you will always remember me.”

She left detailed instructions including photos of her bits and bobs to make sure a true likeness was created, but surprisingly her husband had a tough time finding someone willing to do it. Most stonecutters told him that the request was ‘blasphemous. Marinkovic finally found a mason who was willing to do the tantalising tombstone and the results are on display at the cemetery. He commented, “now it’s finished I love it and it’s a really good likeness”. “And this way, a part of her will always be with me.” Aww how romantic!

Although people have seen Milena’s labia likeness, most can’t tell what it is. Milan told a newspaper that his brother-in-law asked why the bird on the tombstone had such a large beak. Let’s hope that no one revealed to him that it was actually his sister’s vagina. Awks!

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DEATHWISH #13

Roses are red

This is definitely the most romantic deathwish on this list, which, looking back, isn’t difficult I guess. It belonged to Jack Benny, an American entertainer.

When Jack was a young man, he worked in the same film studio as a young lady named Sadie, who he had a huge crush on, but was shy and didn’t have the confidence to ask her out. So here the story begins.
As he couldn’t get the courage, he started to send a single red rose to her desk with no note attached to it. This mysterious act happened every day.

Finally one day, Sadie asked the florist who sent the roses, who they were from. They told her a young man called Jack who worked at the same place as her.
I imagine she made the first move, and eventually, they began talking and Jack asked her out on a double date. Many dates later the roses kept coming.
A little time later, the two got married and you guessed it, the roses continued to be delivered to now, Mrs Mary Benny. Sadie, also an entertainer, who had adopted her stage name of Mary Livingstone.

Jack sadly died suddenly on Christmas morning in 1948 from pancreatic cancer. The day after the funeral, Mrs Benny received a single red rose, delivered to her home. After several more days, the red roses continued to arrive daily, leading her to go to the florist to let them know.

She said, ‘I don’t know if you realise this or not, but Mr Benny passed away. I know this is kind of you but you don’t need to do this any longer.’ The florist responded, “Mrs Benny, you don’t understand. Jack made provisions years ago to provide you with a single red rose every day you are alive.” And there you go.

Mrs Benny continued to receive a single-stemmed red rose for the next eight and a half years, until she sadly passed away.

That definitely pulls on the heartstrings aye!

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